Locating my Mission

My first goal and mission is to be closer to God! I made the first step in this direction a couple months ago when I decided to be baptized at my local church. However, since I made that decision I feel like my faith has been pretty idle since - I mean, I go to Church on Sunday and Google scriptures that fit into the situation I am currently in, but.....have I honestly used any of it like I should? Probably not!

So, my new direction started last week. I was at wits end with my job, a job that I find possibly impossible to be a Christian in, when I called my friend Theresa. I called her to cry and worry to her about a possible job interview I had since I have been very actively looking for a new job. I called her at a loss, this job would have paid me half of what I make now and I would have worked 4 days a week - as great as the 4 days sound, it was the half the money that scared me to death. I spent that whole night trying to find ways to make this income work in my current life, I looked for ways to cut spending, items to sell, and contemplated eating Top Ramen to get by, all of this while in hysterical tears.

After all of this, something hit me...I realized that even though I currently work at an "impossible" job, currently I am here for a reason. Leaving this job for a new one that pays me way less money would only take one stress away and add another. What good would this be to my family? I then realized that the answer I have been looking for was hanging above my computer monitor the whole time, I looked up to see:

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer" - Romans 12:12

When I read this I realized I was doing the exact opposite of everything in this scripture. Yes, I'm currently miserable where I am at in my career, but - have I EVER been constant in prayer?? NO!! I have not! Instead I have sat around trying to find ways to get out of work until a job comes along that I can jump into, just to get out of the one I'm in. Is that being patient in tribulation?? NO! Not at all! At this time, I have decided to do my job the best that I can, to work like I'm working for the Lord - yes, I will still apply for every
job available online. But, I will take the right one, the one that doesn't hurt my family - because as long as I am patient the "right one" will come along. And, as long as I pray, God will show me the way.

The second thing I have decided to do is to find everyway possible to be closer to God. I have spent several hours the past couple of days, reading woman's blogs about what God has done in their life and have found many spiritual websites. Because of this, I have decided that instead of sitting here in my bedroom wondering what to do - I need to get out there, I need help from woman like those I have found online. I need help everyday to find ways to be closer to God! I need help in my everyday life struggles! I just plain need help!

So with this, my plan is to write about me finding my mission in life. My mission to help others, why others help me.

P.S - I am not a good writer, never have been. I think this is because my mind moves so darn fast - and my fingers just cannot keep up. But with that said, please have patience with what I write.